What To Do If Someone Hurt You

How to respond when you feel broken or betrayed

People are fundamentally good. They mean well. I believe that.

People are meant to be thought highly of. They have good aspects, they are fellow humans worthy of our empathy to their problems, they deserve love first and judgement second.

And we deserve offering this for our own sake as well. We deserve to harbor feelings that are more positive than negative energy out into the universe. We deserve to have hearts that empathize, apologize, introspect and grow. And understand that all we control at the end of the day is ourselves — our own thoughts and actions. No one else’s.

And it behooves us to understand: people do things to serve their own truth, not to hurt us. Most of the times, other people’s actions have nothing to do with us, deep down inside. They’re scared or mad or, damn, they just don’t care as much about us as they do about them — and of course they don’t; very few people will. That’s what makes the few occasions of rich love in our life so special.

We can’t make other people’s actions about us. They never will be. We can’t ever control what others do — only how we respond.

And we have to remember this even when others hurt us. When people leave. Or betray us. When lie or cheat or steal. When they say they’ll call or text but never do. When the people we love break our hearts, when the people we simply care about don’t care enough back.

None of that is about us. The only thing we have at the end of the day is what we do with what happens.

People’s actions are their own. And we are all responsible for what we say and think and do. It’s easy to blame others, to chalk up our experience as being about what someone else did, focusing on their action rather than our reaction, or focusing on our reaction as nothing more than the knee-jerk emotion it made us feel. And of course this includes them — they’re responsible too — but it’s not our domain to make them aware of this. Our domain is only ourselves.

Other people do things to serve their own truth.

Their truth is not our domain.

And all we have at the end of the day is our own truth — our reactions, our actions, our thoughts and choices. And we have the power to either suckle at hurt and dwell on “what they did,” or choose to claim ownership and responsibility and resume our rightful power over our own lives.

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